Around Christmas time, it’s quite common to hear “Are you
almost done with your Christmas shopping?” I heard that a few times as I was
being seated at restaurants. I usually answer “Well, my family is traveling at
this time. Not much to do.” That is
actually true, since my wife and my 4-year-old traveled to India this past
Thanksgiving. As I check into my hotel in Bogota on Christmas day, the guy is
curious as to why I am traveling by myself. My answer doesn’t have much
variation.
The questions are absolutely harmless, coming from people
who just want to do some small talk. But the significance of the holiday season
really does not extend beyond the Judeo-Christian world, at least from a
religious angle. So there should be no special need to shop for presents or to
be with family at this time of the year. But then there is the cultural factor
– we tend to mimic the rest of the societal setup. So the questions at least
have some assumption – either I am Christian or Jewish, or I simply do what
most other people are doing. I have come across sophisticated staff in
restaurants I have long frequented who are more direct – “Do you guys celebrate
Christmas?”
The problem is there is no good way to answer this. Because
I actually do celebrate Christmas - most years that is. Growing up in Calcutta
in a fairly multi-religious urban environment, we always used to partake in a
celebration that was huge not just due to the vibrant Christian and
Anglo-Indian communities, but one that transcended faith – it was an occasion
to get out, mingle, or sample cakes from Nahoum’s bakery - a Jewish family run
business dating back to the early 1900s.
Over the years I have spent in the United States, I have
seen the celebration is too personal and family-oriented; almost everything outdoors
shuts down like in a curfew. So I have tweaked my own celebration as well - some
family and friends, some baking, some Netflix, a good time overall.
First off, in all likelihood the person asking the question would
not be aware of the layered cultural setup I was raised in; he just expects me
to be like everyone else around me. The more challenging part is he would probably
expect me to celebrate Christmas the same way he would celebrate in his, that
is an average Christian household, if I answered yes. May be there’s not much
difference – I just don’t know. Of course I could answer ‘Yes – but in my own
way’ but that makes the conversation complicated.
To my mind, the question derives from an expectation that a
minority subculture should conform to religio-cultural practices of the
majority. A religio-cultural practice is different from just cultural like love
for NFL, or the English Premier League. But we ourselves, the minorities, feed
into this homogenization by celebrating Christmas. But sometimes we don’t
celebrate Christmas. And that’s not an aberration in our lives. I have a hard
time explaining that.
